A Merry Christmas? Maybe Later...

With only two days to go I am finally starting to get into the Christmas spirit. I'm not quite there yet because this afternoon I have to venture into the cardiac arrest-inducing death trap that is Plymouth City Centre to both start and finish my Christmas shopping.

In normal conditions it is bad enough; with the kamikaze pram pushers, screaming parents, fed up shop staff and arguing spouses, but add to that potent mix a couple inches of (now frozen solid) ice and snow, and the combination is deadly.

Once this mission is accomplished I will well and truly turn my Christmas on. I promise.

If you don't ever hear from me again it's because I'm in prison for murder.

(Going Nowhere in a ) Winter Wonderland

Me and Mr G have been trapped in the house for two whole days because of circa 3cm of snow which has now frozen, rendering our street an outdoor ice rink.

Ordinarily, I would be more than happy to spend an entire weekend wrapped up in my slanket watching murder mysteries but for some reason as soon as we realised we couldn't go anywhere, we started scratching at the walls desperately trying to get out. We are driving each other MAD. I can't wait to get to work tomorrow, that's not normal.

So yes, I've just about had enough of this snow now. Anyone else?

Christamatic

It's been approximately 4 days and the Hipstamatic is not yet in the Hobby Box. I've now got so many photos of pens, coke cans, leaves and such like stored on my iPhone it takes about 2 minutes for it to respond to any command.

This weekend we put our Chrissie decs up, which provided me with yet another happy snapping opportunity, and I'm sure you're all just dying to see the results.... Well wait no longer because HERE THEY ARE!

Just think of the serious damage I could do to the pseaudo-art-fragrance world if Hipstamatic did camcorders.

Lock Your Diors!

Ahhhhh Christmas. A time of giving, merriment and general excitement... Oh yes, and of course another influx of pretentious, pseudo-arty perfume adverts which, you may remember from last year's rant, I detest.

Usually following one of two formats - celebrity movie short (black & white or sepia tone optional) with patronising life motto (yes, I am talking to you Scarlett Johansson, Keira Knightley, Charlize Theron) or inexplicably bendy supermodel with patronising life motto, if you don't know what I'm talking about just wait for the next ad break during whatever programme you're watching and I guarantee there will be at least one example before you've had chance to make yourself a brew.

Anyway, this year we are being subjected to the absolute epitome of hideous fragrance advert. The fragrance advert, I can only hope, to end all fragrance adverts.

Directed by actual film director Guy Ritchie, this offering by Dior Homme stars Jude Law as what appears to me to be some kind of..... sexual predator?



You're alright Dior, we'll stick to Old Spice, ta.