So... I mentioned in a previous post that I'm a huge fan of the X Factor and this series has done nothing to disappoint.
We've had Dannii's random homophobic jibe at Danyl, Whitney "singing herself out of her dress" (and snorting herself out of her mind, by the looks of things) and Simon making Cheryl cry. Simon seems contractually obliged to use the word "relevant" six times per show, every week Danyl holds a note so long I think he's going to drop dead live on stage, and standing ovations have been rendered totally pointless as every act gets one.
Who needs a real life when TV is as good as this?
But of course, this all pales into insignificance compared with the single best thing the show has ever produced...
"And together we are....JOHN AND EDWARD".
I have taken a lot of stick for supporting them from day one, but I honestly think they are brilliant and I cannot understand why everyone is so offended by them, considering this is what they are up against:
Olly: Dances like your Dad when he's had one Drambuie too many at a family friend's wedding
Stacey: Would you want to listen to her being interviewed on This Morning?
Lucie: Good singer, pretty, but boring. Sang the wrong words to "How will I know" and nobody even noticed.
Lloyd: Hasn't done one good performance on the live shows.
Joe: Haven't we seen him somewhere before? Oh yes, that's right, 2006 when he entered under the name "Ray Quinn"
Jamie: If Lenny Kravitz is the poor man's Jimi Hendrix, Jamie "Afro" is the unemployed man's Lenny Kravitz.
And finally, Danyl: All those people who moan about it "not being a talent contest anymore" were too busy slagging off JEdward to pick up the phone and vote for the best singer in the contest, so he ended up in the bottom two and nearly went home. Unfortunately he didn't.
When asked in their initial audition where they saw themselves in 15 years time, John (or it could have been Edward) replied "I see myself being older". Last night, they were pondering how the nickname JEdward had come about, "I think it's just easier than writing John.And.Edward" one of them declared.
They are one of the most tongue in cheek, entertaining acts I've ever watched and I really don't understand why everyone is so mean about them. They aren't brilliant singers and twin telepathy clearly bypassed them at birth as they can't even dance in time with each other let alone the song, but they get out there every week and give people a laugh, in spite of being routinely booed by the audience.
Last night Lloyd made up a new note half way through his song. He also got down off the stage to stroke Cheryl's face. I almost puked. Nonetheless, at Yealmpton County Primary School we were taught it is very bad sportsmanship to boo someone, so you won't catch me doing it. If you don't like someone, don't boo them, just ring up and vote for your favourite to win.