I would rather squirt a load of Eau de Toilette in my eyes than watch one more designer fragrance advert.
Is it just me or are we being even more bombarded than usual this Christmas? Every ad break seems to have at least two of them, attempting to enforce upon us all some kind of pretentious life motto such as "Who's going to judge me? Me? Only the brave" WHAT?!
"Hi, I'm Charlize Theron, and you have just caught me strutting around my Parisian apartment stripping off all my clothes save for a pair of high heels and a spritz of "Eau Look At My Flawless Naked Body""
"Hi. Scarlett Johannson here. Just chilling out in a huge room that's totally empty apart from a dressing table and a red lipstick. I don't know what I'm looking for but I'll know when I find it..." I have a feeling you'll find it in your bank account fairly soon, Scarlett.
"Hey, we're David & Victoria Beckham (except for this pert bottom, which clearly, does not belong to me). Look at us smouldering at one another! Look how in love we are!! Buy our perfumes and you too could have a relationship like ours..." Err, I'll pass on that one thanks.
"Aloha, I'm that guy Sawyer off of Lost. I'm just spashing around with no top on, in a beautiful blue ocean..." Ok, you can stay...