Is there anything funnier than your mother getting the name of something wrong?
Me: "Mum, do you want a sandwich?"
Mothership: "Yes please, but I'll have mine on one of them kebabbas".
I look at Fiver, perplexed.
She sighs, "It's called a ciabatta, Mum!"
Mothership "Oh well, I was close".
Not really, Mum.
This is just one example of my mother's attempts at keeping up with the times.
Only recently I was astonished to learn that the Beach Boys had not been singing a song about Barbara Horn, a lady from our street, but in fact about some girl named Barbara Ann.
Similarly, the song "Karma Chameleon" made a lot more sense when I discovered that the words to the chorus were not "Cumma Cumma Cumma Cumma Cumma Camellia".
Is it any wonder I have turned out the way I am? In the words of Peter Kay, "if it's not one thing, it's your mother".