It's been so long since I last wrote on here that I momentarily forgot my password.
Anyway, I can now explain that the reason I haven't written for such a long time is because me and Mr G are going to become a family of three!
We've been waiting some time for this to happen so you would expect that it would have taken a bit longer than an hour post-positive test result for me to start moaning about how hideous being pregnant is, but of course that was not the case. Why suffer in silence when you can bring everyone else down with you?
How quickly I forgot how long we've wanted a baby when I was struck down with (what can realistically only be described as an average case of) the dreaded morning sickness.
On one particularly harrowing occasion - which has now become known as The Dominos Disaster - Mr G went out for the evening so I thought I would cheer myself up with some pizza. I ordered £20 worth of scran, threw up before it arrived and then managed to eat precisely 1 slice of pizza, 1 chicken goujon and 1 potato wedge before throwing the rest in the bin as I couldn't bear the sight or smell of it.
On another occasion I thought I was getting my appetite back so cheerfully wolfed down a lovely spaghetti bolognese, only for it to make a reappearance before my knife and fork even came to rest on the empty plate. I actually cried about this. I love bolognese.
People keep telling me it gets better. Let's hope so, eh? Yesterday I got off the bus and had a little cough tickling the back of my throat which set into motion one of the less glamorous moments of my life...I walked the length of my street at the speed of a slug, doubled over gagging, before finally coming to rest against a lamp post and vomiting in the street.
So, not only have I been regularly saying hello again to meals I had considered finished, I've also noticed I am growing a beard, and my boobs have become so massive that when I get cold my nipples look like a Shar Pei (If you don't know what a Shar Pei looks like click here) but something even more distressing than all this has happened to me since I became pregnant:
I've gone off chocolate.
Regular readers will be astounded to hear that not a single Flake has touched my lips since well before Christmas. In a bizarre twist that would surely even shock medical professionals, it turns out that this baby prefers healthier eating. Not only can I no longer enjoy a diet rich in cakes and chocolate washed down by a nice brew (and believe me, I HAVE TRIED), I find myself putting away fresh fruit at a rate my bank balance cannot sustain.
Anyway, of course I am just messing around (Not about the pregnancy, that would be a bit weird?), I am very grateful to be pregnant and after such a long wait we do realise how lucky we are. I am totally overwhelmed that there is a new life growing inside me, and aside from the barfing, the beard, the boobies and the chocolate lockdown, there have been lots of amazing moments as well. I don't think I've ever been as proud as I was when we went for our scan last week and saw the baby relaxing with its feet up, legs crossed , in the ultimate lazy recline. It refused to move, apart from to wave its hand once dismissively above its head, as if to say "Errr... Trying to SNOOZE in here!" and the tears rolled down my face as I thought "Now that's my child!"