Who watched Eurovision on Saturday night then?
Ever since I was a little girl it's been one of my favourite TV nights of the year. Ever year, me and my sisters were allowed to stay up to watch it and every year without fail, I would fall asleep just as the voting started. Actually, in many ways, this is not dissimilar to my TV viewing routine nowadays. Me and Mr G will settle down to a good murder mystery, I'll doze off about three quarters of the way through and then wake up just as the credits start rolling, mumbling "who was the murderer?"
This year's Eurovision did not disappoint. Not only did we have the usual campness, crazy outfits (thank you Moldova) and hilarious commentary from Graham Norton, but we were also treated to not one, but two acts to get behind; Blue (representing the UK) and Jedward (representing Ireland).
So I've never been a massive Blue fan but in spite of Philip Schofield's protestations their song was alright and since they once had a large following in Europe there was a chance they might be able to win it this year. Oh no, hang on, that would depend on other countries voting for us and in order to do that they would have to like us, which they don't. So they didn't. Never mind, we couldn't have afforded to host Eurovision and the Olympics in the same year anyway.
Nonetheless, the Blue boys did put on a good performance. I couldn't help but think that it would have been spectacularly improved, however, by that vein in Lee Ryan's neck finally exploding during the key change - hey that might have even scored us a couple of douze points but alas, it didn't happen.
Realistically, we could enter Take That into Eurovision and we probably still wouldn't win it, so it was helpful to have another act to champion on the night. That act came in the form of my old X Factor favourites, Jedward. I honestly can't understand why people still give them a hard time, I think they're hilarious. If you're not convinced, check them out on Celebrity Juice or follow them on Twitter. They are mental (in a completely harmless/hyperactive way)
They spent the week running up to the contest buttering up potential European voters with such insightful Tweets as "Je suis John, et je suis Edward, et ensemble nous sommes Jedward". What's not to love?
Soon, Jedmania was sweeping across Europe and by the time they performed their Britney-esque entry "Lipstick" on Saturday night they had won over sufficient people to gain several top scores and, for a brief moment, threaten to win the contest. Let me tell you, had that happened it would have ranked up there in the top ten moments of my entire life. Oh don't judge me!
Sadly, the crown was eventually stolen by Azerbaijan and their depression-inducing floaty duet, but with the news that Lipstick is currently number one in Sweden and Austria, and riding high elsewhere across Europe, and with plans for a major European tour it's clear that former X Factor losers Jedward were the real winners of Eurovision.