Eugh. Bad News Fellow Food Fans.

This here:

For those of you fortunate enough to not know. Is a STRETCH MARK. Eugh.

I have not had one of these for years. Not since I was about 15 and woke up one morning with a huge ass and massive boobs and found myself covered in them. Those went silver years ago and I've had them so long I have grown quite fond of them.

This, on the other hand is a NEW ONE. This is a very sad day as it means I have to face up to the fact that I can no longer survive on a diet of Big Tasty burgers, luxury biscuits, chippy chips and flakes. Oh no. This, my friends, means I have to go on a diet.

MISERY. I know I have lots of lovely healthy readers who get frustrated with my slobbishness, but I am just very lazy! I love lying around, relaxing and eating nice food.

Plus, I have never seen anyone have a heart attack in McDonalds. I HAVE seen someone have a heart attack running the half marathon. I'll let you draw your own conclusions to that.

But this latest reminder from my dear friend Mother Nature says it is time to get off my arse and get moving.

I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about it.

Nonetheless, if anyone has any ideas of fun things I can do to get fit, fire away... I'll very reluctantly consider them whilst eating some chocolate, stamping my feet and sulking.